10. Have a torrid one-night stand with a street mutt.

9. Try to understand that the cat is from Venus and I am from Mars.

8. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

7. Circulate petition that Leg Humping be a juried competition in major dog shows.

6. Call PETA and tell them what that surgical mask-wearing freak does to us when no one is around.

5. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

4. Always scoot before licking.

3. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

2. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

and the Number 1 New Year’s Resolutions Made by Dogs…

1. I will NOT chase the damned stick unless I see it LEAVE HIS HAND.

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