The Onion has scooped the latest details coming out of Washington regarding reckless drivers. Secretary of Transportation Mary Peters has reportedly approved a ridiculously large $270 billion project that would build lanes all across the U.S. for drivers identified as reckless.

These new lanes are for the millions of drivers who can’t be bothered with speed limits, turn signal use, or not careening madly out into oncoming traffic. Whether hell-bent on putting themselves and everyone around them in danger or just drunk off their gourds and out for a simple joyride, America’s reckless will no longer be forced to putter along with careful, conscientious, considerate citizens.

The lanes will be shaped like a bowl to keep drunk, asleep or make-up applying drivers steady in the lane.

 Found on Jalopnik. 

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